An Exciting Business Opportunity

Do you have dreams?

I know I do.

That’s why I’m here to let you in on the ground floor of an exciting opportunity! Is it lucrative? Could be! Will you definitely become super rich really fast? Obviously!

Most investment opportunities require you to sign up before you even find out what you’re investing in! This is simply not the case with my super lucrative, happy fun time, once in a life time chance, opportunity!

But Dan! What is this Opp-or-tunity of which you speak!?

I’m glad you asked! let me tell you about it

It all started a little more than a week ago. I was eating lunch at Panda Express with some co-workers and, as usual, got a fortune cookie. Little did I know the Magical power that I was about to unleash. For you see, when I cracked open that cookie I found my fortune. Not only did I find a fortune but I am ready to share it with you.

This was my fortune:

The Rundown

Here’s the rundown, obviously this fortune cookie is saying that I will be coming into a fortune soon. As of yet, I have not discovered this fortune and it could have a huge monetary value. I would like to do you, the consumer, a favor though. I want to help you get in on the ground floor

Rather than just selling my fortune to a single person I’m selling stock in my fortune. One thousand shares will be issued, each worth a dollar, redeemable for the percentage value of the fortune that I come into.

Let me break that down for you.

The Breakdown

If you invest $10 and my fortune ends up being worth a million (hardly a fortune these days) You will make One Thousand Dollars ($990 profit). That’s a 1000% return! There are some extra terms and stipulations of course (you’ll learn the rules after you sign up).

Been Burned Before by Get Rich Schemes?

Let’s get one thing clear, this is not a scheme! It bares no resemblance to a pyramid. It doesn’t require your social security number (just your credit card and possibly some blood). I understand that some of you may have been burned before. But unlike other “so called” investments and get rich quick schemes, this investment strategy has never been tried before. It’s a totally fresh, new way of looking at making money.

This isn’t just a once in a life time chance, this is a once in forever chance to get in on something big! Something very big!

E-mail me your monies.

UPDATE: Read the follow up to this Exciting business opportunity.

Posted in So Awesome.Comments

Eddie Huffman

I need more info

sam

Can we consider your fortune to be your now and future salary? By investing $1, can I have a percentage of each paycheck you get from now on?

Stuart

Wow. So at first I thought this post was obviously in jest. You know, in good fun... a joke. After all, what idiot would believe that anybody would start buying shares of a future fortune based solely on the writings of some poor sap, handcuffed to a desk, and forced to write fortune-cookie fortunes at gunpoint?

But now MEH! seems to think it's serious, and it got me wondering, "What if it really is serious? What if the fortune is real? What if it's 'magic' is really magical?"

MEH! says it's a scam, but I don't know. It sounds like a really good deal. I've got about $20,000 equity in my home, and I'm thinking about taking out a second mortgage to invest. What do you guys think? $20,000 ought to give me a pretty good return.

MEH!

Quote : “If the ‘fortune’ discovered is less than the total value of all shares then payout is 50% of any share’s value.”

So let's play with some numbers...

Let's say that 60 million people invest $1 in this and the final fortune which you actually get is $1. That would mean that everyone would get back roughly 50% of what they put in plus one sixty millionth of a dollar..?

You make yourself $30 million...

Let's say, for arguments sake, that ten people invest in your stupid scheme, and it IS a scheme, and each of them give you $1. You can then state that the fortune acquired was something stupid like an additional fortune cookie and therefore the initial investment of $10 will give your investors $0.50 return because there was no value to the actual fortune.

You make yourself $5

Every way I look at this is screams "SCAM!"

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A better way to make money would be to put bets on how long it will be before this comment is removed or how likely it is to be posted in the fist place it needs verification.

amera

wow. this post was brilliant because it was fun. oh but question. how do you know the fortune will be money?

oh and thanks for trying to help with the phone. you're wonderful.

ps. did you get a tan while riding the waves?

giovannizero

Like I said, there are some stipulations and fine print to go over but I only do that after sign up :)

I'll let you in on the secret though. It's in Article V Subsection 3

"If the 'fortune' discovered is less than the total value of all shares then payout is 50% of any share's value."

I would be more concerned with the definitions in the beginning though.

"Fortune: The fortune predicted, herein reffered to as "the fortune" shall be defined in writing at the time of payout by the proprietor of the fortune. Monetary or otherwise, the fortune must be designated as such by the majority stock holder (or majority vote) before payout can occur"

Hope that's helpful :)

Sam

I'm in. One question though - the math doesn't seem to make sense. Let's say I invest 1000 dollars, and your fortune ends up being the 1000 dollars I gave you, how much do I get back?

Shep

can i split payment between rupees, pesos, and yen?