We’re all familiar with the famous words of Ben Parker.

With great power comes great responsibility!

When remembering these words I can’t help but think of Google, the “do no evil company.”

Ben Parker enjoys his “damn paper for once”

They do have a great responsibility but imagine all the fun they could have if they stopped taking their responsibility seriously. It would be even better than Emo Parker trying to act cool in a jazz club (seriously, wtf was that all about?)Google could do all kinds of things to make the internet more interesting. You ask how they will accomplish that? It’s simple, Google rewards different behavior and all of the sudden everyone wants to do whatever it is that google rewards!

I apologize again for doing everything in list format lately but here goes

Introducing: How Google can make the Internet more interesting

Imagine, instantly all the SEOs would rush to put animated gifs all over their sites. It would throw the internet back to it’s hayday, circa 1995, when that kind of thing was totally acceptable, nay, totally tubular.

Now days kids all have to have their lastFM and their pandora or yahoo music, or even their “itunes” so they can enjoy music while they surf the web. If embedded audio became hip again then we wouldn’t need silly music players anymore because each and every website would have it’s own unique soundtrack! Recently gthing did a post about how to find good music but if Google would just reward embedded audio we would all find more of it every day just by surfing the web!
An added bonus could be if their were multiple pieces of audio that would load simultaneously. Then you could discover all kinds of music at the same time

If Google’s algorithm looked at how contrasted the colors on a page were we would get all kinds of web design gems! Most pages would be black and white strict with no gray but other pages would venture out into other contrasts, strict red and green combined with flashing text and embedded audio! Wouldn’t that be awesome!?

Come to think of it Google doesn’t have to do anything to inundate the internet with insanity. Myspace already did it. (Warning:The previous link may cause bleeding from unexpected orifices

That’s right folks. Check your feed reader have you noticed anything strange? No body is updating their blogs! I’m not the only one with nothing to report but all across the blogosphere the latest entries are getting older and older.

The only people on my feed that have updated anything latley are the loggers (ie the people that just tell you what they did the previous day) as for regular style blog entries, with their sass and frass, have decreased almost 74%! (see Pacman graph for details.)

I have a few theories as to why this is happening.

When I chose my cellphone number over a year ago I was going for something that was close to my brothers phone number. Little did I know that the former phone proprietor had a similar namesake to my own. It wasn’t long will I was taking calls for his booty calls, young women that I spent 20 minutes on the phone with trying to figure out how in the world I knew them. Finally, it dawned on me that I didn’t know who these people were.

The booty calls stopped (when I stopped providing the booty) and I lived in peace for a while.

Then another kind of call started coming, blockbuster, once a week would call me and tell me they were going to start charging me for my overdue movies. Turns out Tom never changed his phone number on his blockbuster account. Then today I got a completly different kind of call.

Check it via my chat logs(or logz if you’re “GaNgStA”

Ronin 10:28: DUDE!
ok, you know how I’ve been getting phone calls for this Tom dude for the last year and a half?
they’ve mostly died down

Jon – 10:29: yeah
Ronin- 10:29: but this is the call I just got:
-: Hi Tom?
Me:- Nope, this is Dan
-: oh..I was trying to call this number ###-####
Me: Yeah, thats my number but that’s not me. Who were you looking for?
-: Tom ***** from Vizad
Me: Wait…from Vizad?
The guy that had my phone before was at VIZAD!?

After tracking Tom for a while, I finally know where he is. Now the game is on!

I was cruising around youtube today and I found out that Keith Olbermann was actually a writer for the movie Brick. I had no idea until I heard him speak. Listen to this wonderful line he slings (or watch the video below):

The guilty pleasure offered by the existence Bill O’Reilly is simple and understandable. 99 times out of a 100 when we belly up to billow bar bluster, nearly every time we partake of the movable falafel feast he serves us nothing but comedy, farce, slapstick, unconscious self-mutilation. The sideshow Bob of commentators, forever stepping on the same rake, forever muttering the same grunt of inarticulate surrender, forever resuming the circle back to same rake; the Sisyphus of morons if you will, but this is the 100th time out of 100 it is not funny at all. Bill O’Reilly has, for the 2nd time in just under 8 months slandered at least 84 dead American servicemen, he has turned them again, from victims of the kind of atrocity that our country has always fought against, into perpetrators of that same kind of atrocity. He has turned them into war criminals.

Not only is Keith Olbermann a spider spinning speech spells and he pontificates like Potiphar’s wife on poppy seeds; forever rambling a weak web of tawdry, but talented, tellings, forever clasped in the quickly collapsing cacophony of calumny; an exploitive expletive of alliteration, if you will, but he gavels great gusto and gravitas as if an embodiment of Colbert he thinks is.

BTW, in case anyone is wondering about the massacre that Keith and Bill O’Reilly are talking about it its the Chenogne Massacre that happened in response to the to the Malamédy Massacre.

The great thing about this report by Keith it is a perfect examples of hypocrisy. Bill O’Reilly calling the Chenogne massacre the Malmedy massacre is an honest mistake considering one happened immediately after, and in response to the other.

Keith on the other hand is a sharp guy and must have known what Bill was talking about but chose not to report it.

On the other hand, I really enjoyed Brick…

Done::
1. Drove back to Colorado in spite of the car overheating.
2. Bought house.
3. Bought drapes for house.
4. Changes servers to awesome VPS

To Do::
1. Relax
2. Come up with legitimate blog entry
3. Fly to Spain on Tuesday.

Movie Night update:

Since Gary and I will be out of town we won’t be hosting movie night. Of course we do encourage you to do your own movie night as long as you do not violate our exclusive movie night rights for the western half of the united states.

That is all.

Many of you saw my recent post on Road Rage. The thought was that by voluntarily submitting my self to things that normally made me angry I would be able to avoid the stress associated with driving.

I’m happy to say that it was a complete success.

Less Stress:
During my 15 day trial period I only had a single instance of road rage that mostly caused by external stresses. Compare that before when I had daily, even hourly road rage. I was so mad about driving I’d be road raging while sitting at my desk at work.

Now that the 15 day trial is over I’ve let the rules go but the lessons and principles learned remain the same. It helped get a better attitude about driving and traffic in general.

The most amazing thing about it is that not only do I stress a lot less while driving but I have more patience in other areas of my life. I don’t know if it’s a philosophy thing or what but I’m a lot more relaxed now than I was last month.

Readjusting:
Since I’ve released my self from the rules I’m trying to find a happy medium between the two extremes of driving, that is “driving super-aggressive, crazy fast” and “going with the flow”. My new style tends to lean more towards the latter than the former.

How do you cure road rage?:
If you would have asked me earlier I would have described the horrific process of planned, murderous, rampages. Unfortunately there will always be more stupid drivers. The thing is, not every I see that is driving poorly is a bad driver. They might be a good driver having a fluke, off-day. Slaughtering these poor saps wouldn’t really be fair. I’d have to follow them around for a few days to try to get a solid sampling of their performance before dealing out execution.

Motivation:
I was taking a solid look at my life realizing that the most stressful part of my day is driving. I go nuts trying to get around people that are going 5 under, or people that are sitting in the fast lane for no apparent reason. Then there are all the people trying to kill me by doing things like, running stop signs, assuming I have a stop sign when I do not, pulling out in front of me for no reason, turning in front of me when I’m 10 feet away or even by pulling over to the side of the road and waiting till I’m about to pass you to try to flip a U-turn. All of these things have happened to me within the last month or two and something has to change.

Since murder is clearly out, I have another solution in the form of an experiment.

One day every word in the english language with be trademarked and you will be sued for using the word without paying homage to the owner. I for one will buy the words “the” and “a” because you can’t have a sentence without them.

Eventually communication will become so expensive that people will make up new words, as in a new language. This will, however, only work for a short period of time until these words are also copywritten. Everyone will learn sign language until it becomes so popular that signs start to come under trademark. But don’t worry, a race of aliens will over run us shortly there after and force us to learn their language. A language for which we will pay out the [insert colorful metaphor here] to speak.

I for one welcome our new vernacular overlords.

I’ve been thinking about getting back to France for a little while now. I’m looking at an English teaching assistant job. I thought that I could get in and do it for the fall semester and be back for christmas next year but that’s not an option. Here are the options:
.

All of them start the first of October 2007 and go for at least 6 months. Here are the levels I’d be working with along with the end date:

I’m debating whether or not I want to do this because it would effectively wipe out two semesters; which who knows whether or not I would be in school anyway. It’s not really in my hands.

I’d like to do the kids one because I would really enjoy that but it goes, at least, into april. The one I would least likely want to do is College but it ends in Feburary. At anyrate spring semester is out of the question.

There is also the question of a job, Sewelldirect has been awesome and I don’t see how I could have a better job anywhere else. I don’t know if they would let me leave and come back like that.

So, if I want to do this I need my application sent in by the 1st of January. Feel free to let me know what you think, that is why I’m posting this.